Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Our hearts are broken.
Tommy was a homeless cat when we took him into our hearts about twelve years ago. If a cat can be called a gentleman, that's what he was. Everyone loved him. He spent many hours in sunny weather stretched out on the rail of the deck with one arm hanging over each side appearing to be meditating. To get me up in the morning he would lay across my shoulder and pull on my hand to tell me "Come on now, I want my breakfast" and of course I always responded. In the winter he would walk up through the woods with my partner, playing hide and seek along the way. So many things can be said about Tommy. So many stories. Well, we noticed that he had lost a little weight but he seemed fine otherwise. Then last Saturday I noticed his weight had dropped quite a bit and he was looking sick and just not his normal self. As the Vet wouldn't be open until Monday I had to wait until then to make an appointment. Between Saturday and Monday he wasn't eating and I would find him lying in one of the flower beds staring into space. I would bring him in but he would want to go outside again. So, Monday arrived and I got an appointment for the next day, yesterday. He was looking pretty bad by now. We arrived at the vets and my partner said he just couldn't go in. He told me to take food and water with us because he might be hungry after the vets visit. I knew Tommy wouldn't be coming back alive but never the less I took the food and water. Looking at him at first the Vet said he had something quite serious. She examined him, saw his mouth was full of cysts (not the right word, can't think of it now), and as he had been drinking an awful lot of water and other signs, said he had liver disease. She said it was not curable but he could be put on drugs to extend his life for a few months. I broke down, went to peices. I said I didn't want him suffering anymore and to put him down. How terribly, terribly awful. She said she would leave me with him for a few minutes so I told him how much I loved him and loved him and kissed him with tears running down my face. Then she came to get him and I went out in the waiting room and lost it again. I had brought with me a cloth I had bought while in India to wrap him in and had given that to the vet. After a few minutes he was brought out to me and I took him in my arms and his little body was still warm and I completely went to peices. Wailing is the only word to describe it. I walked out to the car with him and my partner lost it. It was awful. We both sat there crying. Finally drove home and immediately burried him next to Ivy and Fred. My partner and I were holding each other in tears. It was as if we had burried our heart. What a brave little soul he was, and we always felt, an old soul. So, today I have to make a marker and go on from there. We will never forget our darling Thomas.